We
all want to be the best, right?
‘Yeah,
sure…,’ you might be thinking.
Not
the lazy ‘yeah’ kind of answer,
But
the ‘Yes; That is all I have ever dreamed of!’ type.
Granted,
I know there are those who would tell you they do not really care if they are
the best or not. In fact, they do not give a damn about how I, you, or anyone
else perceives their acts.
So,
with that excuse they cover up their fails, cover up their inner struggle, and
cover up their perpetual disappointment in themselves.
But
deep down they feel bad, sad and would really be glad to be the top dog, just
like me, you and everyone else want it, dream of it and strive to be IT.
So,
what if I told you right now to stop striving to be the best?
What
would you do?
Smile
at me, Shake my hands, and Nod in Complete Compliance?
Or
Slap me, Spit on my face, and Stone me in Sheer Contempt?
Hey,
before you decide, you’ve got to check this out!
Recently,
I talked about why I do NOT want you
to be good. Yeah, in that post I addressed why you should leave ‘good’ behind
for good. Have you read it already? If you have not you should read it here –
it is not the kind of post you should miss. In fact, it would serve as the
perfect appetizer for this post. Read ‘Leave Good Behind’ now.
However,
if you have read the post, let us move on, shall we?
Yes,
I know what we have been told since time immemorial; that we must strive to be
the best in every situation we find ourselves.
Where
did we start?
Right,
at home! You must be the most well behaved kid on the block or your ass is
fired. Then we move to school and we must come first in class every time.
Keep
in mind that you are not the only one in class being told that same thing. It
makes one wonder what happens to all our friends when they get home…
‘Ain’t no way
anyone is gonna take that prize from you, kid!
Come First or no food forever! If you don’t come first, don’t even come home.
In fact consider yourself disowned already!’
*Sighs*
I
am not sure any parent would really go to such extreme but, hey, what do I
know?
Like
in my case, things were not really that bad. I opened my sleepy eyes to find a
Teacher Mother and An Engineer Father. Well, I do not have to tell you
Education was truly valued, and nothing but the best was expected of me. You would
not understand unless you were in my shoes (my feet fit quite OK into size
43-45, by the way).
Anyway,
the example above is in some ways similar to the kind of instructions instilled
in many of our minds. Then what follows is the fear of what happens if we fail
to be the best. What-Woulds and What-Would-Nots start plaguing the mind
from such tender ages…
In
essence, while many might believe they have always loved the idea of being the
best in all they do, the bitter truth is that they have only feared how their
lives would turn out if they were not the best.
People
grow up feeling miserable if they are not the ‘best’ student in school, the
‘best’ child at home, the ‘best’ friend in the world… and somehow, it gradually
makes people lose value in their own eyes – Just another case of self esteem I
have been accentuating sort of lately.
So,
if you are the natural best, and make it to the top quite effortlessly you
would not really understand how ‘bad’ your friends feel sometime. Hehehe, yeah;
take it or leave it, they may be proud of your success – just don’t let it
cross your mind that they forget their ‘failures’.
This
reminds me of that Indian film, ‘Three
Idiots’. When two of the ‘Idiot’ friends found themselves placed last and
second last respectively in class, they felt really bad. They searched for the
name of the third friend, since he was not there with them.
One
of the two friends present did not find it. So he concluded their third friend
had been evicted once-and-for-all due to woeful performance. He felt incredibly
worse than before.
Then,
asking about a clamour by another classmate, he was made to understand that
their third friend, the one he thought had been evicted, actually came First,
sweeping it clean out of the hand of that clamouring student!
This
friend should jump up for joy, scream in ecstasy and head straight to tell his
friend, right?
Wrong!
Instead, he was shocked to find out he actually felt even worse than when he
thought his friend had been dismissed.
This,
my friends, is Life.
So, why do I want
you to stop Striving to be the Best?
After
all, being the best means you have been able to outrun, outsmart and, maybe,
outmanoeuvre others – depending on how you become the best...
Being
the best means you should be able to relax knowing you are way ahead – a sweet
reward for the donkey years of hard labour. Why shouldn’t you strive to reach
that peak where what is before you is nada and what is behind you is a crowd of
people trying to be you?
Because
I don’t want you to limit yourself.
When
you have it as your main goal to beat everyone else, either of these two things
happen:
1.
You could become
the best
2.
You could turn
out not to make it as the best
So,
which is better of the two?
Number
1?
Or
Number 2?
If
I were you, I would not even bother picking any out of the two.
You
know why?
1.
If
you indeed become the best, you would stop
working hard, contented you have arrived. Goal Accomplished – Work Done! In
essence, you limit yourself to conquest over the rest and forget about yourself.
You know what made great Champions what they are today?
They
keep beating their own records. They work to overcome their limit, and forget
about being the best.
If,
in the process, they indeed become the best, Great!
But
would they stop working hard? No!
2.
If
you fail to become the best, you sulk, feel
miserable, and maybe give up.
Why
would one not give up – Since the goal looks to far away from being reached?
However,
if we focus on beating the last record, on getting better, and overcoming our
limits; how much more productive this would be?!
This
is the kind of goal I want us to have, for our own good.
Breaking
Our Own Records.
Not
Being The Best.
And You Know The Most Interesting Part?
The best way of being the best is by breaking your own records over and over again.
Please Do Not Forget to share this posts with your Friends. Sharing is Caring!
I'm new to this blog and I really love your inspirational stuff.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing
You are always welcome. I am pleased to be of help.
DeleteThat post is refreshing! I feel lighter after reading it.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to let go of being the best when you've been told how great you were at something, yet just don't feel like putting in the extra effort. But life is for enjoying, isn't it?
You are right there. While It is very rewarding to make conscious effort to becoming better, too much strive for perfection or being the best could be very hurtful. Would love to see more of you around.
DeleteHi TOPE FABUSOLA
ReplyDeleteBecoming the best is everyone desire. If we look around everybody is striving hard to be the best. But only those people become best who pick the right career for them and then become a pro in their field. Those who happen to fall in wrong profession always pine in obscurity.
I first time visited your blog and much impress by your contents. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Mi Muba. You see, it is great being the best. But the best in life first focus on getting better. When we focus on beating everyone else, we fail to work deep at ourselves. This is why many people are so exhausted and giving up. Thanks for your Comment, Mi.
DeleteI left that striving thing go a while back ;) Now I'm happy and grateful, detached more, and go from there. Great advice Tope!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Ryan. Good you are free!
DeleteHi Tope,
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing article you have posted, i found it very helpful for me, Because if we want to be a best in a particular field then we need hard work along with it right direction and discipline, if we have all these quality then obviously we will success to attain the goal
Thanks for sharing.
keep posting.
You got it, Mike! It does not mean one relax. In fact, one becomes more hardworking, just not obsessed with being the best.
Delete